I Don’t "Get Through Life" Anymore - I Let It Speak To Me

There was a time when “getting through it” wasn’t a strategy; it was just how I lived.

From one moment to the next, from one demand to the next, I got through things. Not by choice, but by necessity. Peace wasn’t familiar, ease wasn’t normal and I was always waiting for the next shoe to drop. So even when something good happened, it was often chased by anxiety. Because peace wasn’t safe, it was short-lived and followed by pain. Joy felt fragile, and the moment I allowed myself to relax, I was already bracing for the fall.

This wasn’t just a feeling; it was a program, one that quietly stole presence from moments that could have been magic. Looking back, I grieve the moments I couldn’t be in fully. The moments I longed for, but when they came, I couldn’t stay. Because when you live in a world of “getting through,” You miss the being here. You miss the softness, the pause, the breath, the noticing.

It’s a kind of spiritual poverty, not because you don’t have enough, but because you’re too out of body to receive it.

This morning, I caught myself saying yet again, “If I can just get through this…” But then something stopped me, because I remembered I don’t live like that anymore.

So instead of blaming the world for why I wasn’t at peace, I turned inward. And I asked:

What am I trying to get through? Why do I believe this moment isn’t enough? What if the one I’m waiting for… is me?

And I found something deeper than boundaries or blame. I found me.  The version of me that no longer needs permission to just be. I realized I was yet again trying to make it about someone else, something else, the outside world. But the truth is,  no one was expecting anything of me. No one was pressuring me to show up. It was my own inner fear, my own insecurity, my own outdated idea of who I thought I needed to be in order to belong. So I stopped. I didn’t fight. I didn’t explain.  I simply chose to become the peace I was craving. I gave myself the most sacred boundary of all, “It’s okay to be you. You don’t need anyone else to say it. You can give yourself that permission. You can stop waiting for the moment to arrive  and become the moment instead.”

So I made a new Soul Vow

 I don’t get through life anymore.

I don’t blame the outside for my inner unrest.

I don’t push myself to perform what peace should look like.

And instead, I listen. 

I ask.

I breathe.

I let life speak.

And when it does, I answer from my own center.

I am not surviving anymore.

I am sovereign. I am not performing peace.

I am becoming it 

And from this place, I no longer get through life.

I live it.